For a moment I thought i have lost 5 most important friends plus the him in my life. And my only last one left went overseas...
Initially, it was my problem in expressing myself or rather to say it fast enough so the attention won't dies off. Then I realized I became a mute in front of them most of the times. And now I am the one that makes everyone pissed... When i excused myself to the restroom, I knew what you all were discussing, or rather I feel like I should let you all vent it out before I come back to the table again. I am sorry girls, to have make it such a big thing now, but I am just different. Now I am a mute in front of you, I cant imagine how I will be like when all your other friends come together. I know i was at fault, I am the troublesome one, but is there a need to tell someone whom I have no idea who he is about what happen???
Then after feeling all this, I finally came back to my comfort zone... And you kept quiet and insist that you are not angry. I didnt expect you to understand me. I feel guilty, very guilty...
I have no idea who I should turn to. This is so fucking childish. I am so FUCK UP!
3:03 AM
Just came home from Vincent's chalet... Felt weird without u by my side. But luckily all ur friends were nice and caring... and i m not felt out.
Tml is a busy day... But it is good caz i m sick and tired of staying at home to rot!!! I need a job!!!
Cant wait for another 4 and a half more days...miss you!
12:56 AM
Just came back from malaysia. Had a fun and exciting experience this time. Car flip, taking other ppl's car instead of my dad's. Having both my legs cut with scars and bruises. sad...ugly legs. Everyone who went this time were fun and helpful. the clique is right... Meet and know alot of new friends too...
Missing you....
12:52 AM
going overseas the day after u come out for the first time!!! What should i do? Should i still go overseas or accompany u? OMG why do god always have to let me make this type of decision!!!
11:03 PM
How i hope that you will be here to listen to me now. It will be better if u can help me. should i go or not? She say i m lucky to live in a family with a stable finance, and say i m slacking all around! I m not even taking any extras! Hiaz are you thinking about what i m thinking? Your mom just sent me the info for the fund, I dunno but i feel that I wun be able to get it. But i will try though. Hope you r fine! Take care!
2:44 PM
Planned to make myself busy, so i wun feel the missing thing constantly. Everything is planned and packed from today onwards to sunday. and there will be four more days before he is out!! I will survive!!!I bought my prom dress!!! I think it is like rare kind, hope no one wear similar. went with cal, Shop for damn long for her to make up her mind. After i saw the dress i wanted, I didnt have the mood to try on others... Hope i wun regret.
Tired legs... it seems like an exercise!!! But a fun and enjoyable one!!!
11:36 PM
This is just the first day man!!! But i m feeling like it is the "dunno how many" days already!! How can i survive through the next few days? Someone pls help!!! I hope everything is fine for him in the camp, I hope he can adapt (saying all this is bullshitting, he definitely can...) hahaha... 19 more days left!!!
I noe there will be people who will be saying that i m NUTS!!! But i got nowhere to pour into... Bear with me
8:32 PM
This song title is "This Fool" by Wonder girls. Yea I admit that i m a fool to think that everything will change. The love u provided after that incident is different, biased, and wrong!!! But apparently, the lyrics is for couples in love, so it is somewhat not suitable here. But i m only going to emphasize on the title.
10:51 PM
Time flies.... I have never ever thought of me sending resumes to all the companies and getting frustrated about what job to take and what course to further in. And now it all comes in one shot! I m seriously confused. And the biggest prob is, what kind of course can this shitty GPA bring me to? I seriously have no idea!!!
Everyone, as in EVERYONE, seems to know what they wan to do. but me? I m just slacking. Trying to give excuses that i wanna rest, but i m getting a little sick of watching shows (or maybe there isnt any shows that are interesting at the moment). So what should i do? I have to set a date! Will work after prom!
p.s. Whoever who is feeling like me, feeling no where right, please message me. So that i know i m not the only lost one.
8:11 PM
