My Story...All about me...

2009-06-20T03:03:00.002+08:00

For a moment I thought i have lost 5 most important friends plus the him in my life. And my only last one left went overseas...

Initially, it was my problem in expressing myself or rather to say it fast enough so the attention won't dies off. Then I realized I became a mute in front of them most of the times. And now I am the one that makes everyone pissed... When i excused myself to the restroom, I knew what you all were discussing, or rather I feel like I should let you all vent it out before I come back to the table again. I am sorry girls, to have make it such a big thing now, but I am just different. Now I am a mute in front of you, I cant imagine how I will be like when all your other friends come together. I know i was at fault, I am the troublesome one, but is there a need to tell someone whom I have no idea who he is about what happen???

Then after feeling all this, I finally came back to my comfort zone... And you kept quiet and insist that you are not angry. I didnt expect you to understand me. I feel guilty, very guilty...

I have no idea who I should turn to. This is so fucking childish. I am so FUCK UP!

Vin's chalet

2009-03-30T00:56:00.002+08:00

Just came home from Vincent's chalet... Felt weird without u by my side. But luckily all ur friends were nice and caring... and i m not felt out.

Tml is a busy day... But it is good caz i m sick and tired of staying at home to rot!!! I need a job!!!

Cant wait for another 4 and a half more days...miss you!

Offroad...

2009-03-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

Just came back from malaysia. Had a fun and exciting experience this time. Car flip, taking other ppl's car instead of my dad's. Having both my legs cut with scars and bruises. sad...ugly legs. Everyone who went this time were fun and helpful. the clique is right... Meet and know alot of new friends too...

Missing you....

What should i do?

2009-03-12T23:03:00.001+08:00

going overseas the day after u come out for the first time!!! What should i do? Should i still go overseas or accompany u? OMG why do god always have to let me make this type of decision!!!

Third Day!

2009-03-12T14:44:00.002+08:00

How i hope that you will be here to listen to me now. It will be better if u can help me. should i go or not? She say i m lucky to live in a family with a stable finance, and say i m slacking all around! I m not even taking any extras! Hiaz are you thinking about what i m thinking? Your mom just sent me the info for the fund, I dunno but i feel that I wun be able to get it. But i will try though. Hope you r fine! Take care!

Second day

2009-03-11T23:36:00.003+08:00

Planned to make myself busy, so i wun feel the missing thing constantly. Everything is planned and packed from today onwards to sunday. and there will be four more days before he is out!! I will survive!!!

I bought my prom dress!!! I think it is like rare kind, hope no one wear similar. went with cal, Shop for damn long for her to make up her mind. After i saw the dress i wanted, I didnt have the mood to try on others... Hope i wun regret.

Tired legs... it seems like an exercise!!! But a fun and enjoyable one!!!

I m very lost

2009-03-10T20:32:00.003+08:00

This is just the first day man!!! But i m feeling like it is the "dunno how many" days already!! How can i survive through the next few days? Someone pls help!!! I hope everything is fine for him in the camp, I hope he can adapt (saying all this is bullshitting, he definitely can...) hahaha... 19 more days left!!!

I noe there will be people who will be saying that i m NUTS!!! But i got nowhere to pour into... Bear with me

This song

2009-03-05T22:51:00.002+08:00

This song title is "This Fool" by Wonder girls. Yea I admit that i m a fool to think that everything will change. The love u provided after that incident is different, biased, and wrong!!! But apparently, the lyrics is for couples in love, so it is somewhat not suitable here. But i m only going to emphasize on the title.

Time flies

2009-03-04T20:11:00.002+08:00

Time flies.... I have never ever thought of me sending resumes to all the companies and getting frustrated about what job to take and what course to further in. And now it all comes in one shot! I m seriously confused. And the biggest prob is, what kind of course can this shitty GPA bring me to? I seriously have no idea!!!

Everyone, as in EVERYONE, seems to know what they wan to do. but me? I m just slacking. Trying to give excuses that i wanna rest, but i m getting a little sick of watching shows (or maybe there isnt any shows that are interesting at the moment). So what should i do? I have to set a date! Will work after prom!

p.s. Whoever who is feeling like me, feeling no where right, please message me. So that i know i m not the only lost one.

I dunno what i should do

2009-02-05T20:24:00.002+08:00

If u r bias, dun blame that i m rebellious. Caz "he" IS rebellious too, but i dun see the same treatment.
If u think u wanna continue treating me like this, and i wun fight back and be a "shit" like him. You are right...DAMN RIGHT, caz i m not stupid! He smokes, he do so many other things which is even worst, do u even have eyes to see?

Everything that i have done for u all in the past has all been forgotten, i regretted! No one appreciate me even after so many fight backs, so many yelling for help, so much tears rolling down! YOU only know how to say that u have got no choice, and u dun wish to lose him again! Sorry! YOU r going to lose me soon!!!

Jia, pls dun ask me what happen, you should noe what is all this about...

I dun wish to elaborate!

My second presentation

2009-01-29T22:21:00.002+08:00

Oh No!!!! My second FYP presentation is on my birthday, which is a friday 13th!!! I hope it will be my lucky day.... Why do you have to do this to me!!! I wanna enjoy!!! haha... I will just do my best!!!

Anyway schools gonna end... Future plans unfixed! What should i do? Definitely have to study, but m i going straight away or what... I wanna go overseas with maine!!! hahaha...

Gong Xi Fa Cai everybody!!! bye

2009-01-15T00:36:00.002+08:00

Nth to hide anymore!!! new chapter!!! hahaha...

I almost burn my whole stereo sound system set today by watching drama series for too long... Luckile nth happen except that it created alot of smoke and a pungent smell. Dad did scold either, just said, "You seriously shouldnt stay at home for too long". I was like -_-...

I m broke!!!

2009-01-01T20:51:00.002+08:00

Obviously i have changed my blog song.... The reason why? Someone said that my blog song is sad, plus my blog entry, make everything worst!! So i decided to change to something faster hahaha...

This song is by Superjunior... Whenever i m sad, I will watch their MV, it always brighten up my day!!! Yeap thats about it for today.

2008-12-30T23:29:00.002+08:00

I seriously begin to not understand anything and not see anything, seriously dun get everything that is happening right now. I dun have a clear mind to think, it is clouded... Am i involve in any plan that u r planning now? I m scared!!!

2008-12-22T22:44:00.004+08:00

I dunno whether i should say that my FYP is slack or whether i m just not into doing anything about it. Not really interested though, but i got to do it and will give in my best just give me time haha...

Actually feel like using ur method...
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Sorry copy u

2008-12-14T18:43:00.003+08:00

Oh shit, I have forgotten my princples of life... Dun expect much, U wun get disappointed.

lie

2008-12-11T21:34:00.003+08:00

Being naive, being ignorant is not always the best choice to live ur life happily when everything is just a lie. U r always the one kept in the dark, always being the one treated like a fool being push around like a clown. Should i even believe u now? I thought u were different, maybe u r, just not to me. But maybe this time i should listen to the crowd, and stop daydreaming. Everything is bullshit!!!

Returning my life to normal

2008-12-10T17:51:00.003+08:00

FYP started like a week before, and i m not adapting fast enough. Working from home suck, so i think i may have to visit ELQ more often and camp there. In addition, I have to change my mindset just for this project. No more "how this mechanism works", "Why wun it work better if i do it this way". Now i should be thinking, "How to market this", "how can i make ppl trust this product". Miss doing lab work!! But luckily i have a very nice and understanding supervisor. I felt so guilty to even think of changing project.

OK so no more about project, and dun worry i m not gonna start anything about what i have heard of my impression to others in school. So i think there is nth much to update.

I MISS AUSSIE. I MISS THAT THREE MONTHS!!!

returning myself to normal, low profile!!! =(

hide it somewhere

2008-12-03T19:55:00.002+08:00

When u lose it then u will treasure it...when u have it, u will take it for granted. This phase has been so commonly used in this society but why is there still ppl doing this? No one ever learn their lessons. I wan to treasure but I cant, becaz it does not belong to me.

Things r getting more and more fake... If there isnt love, why bother? I have fall into it, it takes time to recover. I hope some stuffs will change and pls make it change!!! I dunno how long i can take this, but i will try to swallow everything down as much as i can, u should noe me, limited space in the brain and heart, cant take much...

Face the fact!!!

2008-12-01T21:49:00.002+08:00

My fantasy is over!! Maybe it is our fantasy..now everyone has to face reality that we r all back in singapore and has to face all the problems that we had before we left... I have to face mine, U have to face urs, and everyone else have to face theirs... Just hope all the decisions made will be right and dun regret.

I feel overwhelmed but say nth, at least i was living in fantasy before. To some ppl, it is something good. To me, it is just facing the facts again. There is no one to be there every day, and there will not be.

selfish human beings

2008-11-30T04:07:00.003+08:00

It has been so long since i last updated. I think there should be no one interested in my blog anymore. just came back from Australia. I have gain lots of knowledge, both in studies and life. Quite reluntant to come back, even when i was reaching singapore, i cant believe that 3 months actually passes so fast!!!

Anyway, my main purpose of blogging. human beings r very selfish. we shouldnt lead anyone on when we noe that there is no after that. but why are some human beings still doing this? Is it becaz of loneliness? or just for fun? Do u noe this will make ppl sad? I hope that human being sees this and pls understand!!!

我已经一无所有了

2008-07-26T16:32:00.003+08:00

该怎么办才好呢？已经一无所有了。爱和朋友都没了，好可怜啊。只是想每个人都开心，只想给每个人欢乐，只想找些会在别人在背后说坏话时，会帮我说话。可是我最相信的朋友既然连一句话都没说。我不知道为何会有这么多人讨厌我，就因为我臭脸吗？我还以为别人是这样，你们一定不会这样，可是看来我是错的，你们应该也受不了了。

my fault

2008-07-19T21:08:00.003+08:00

Finally I pick up my guts to blog about this. There should be no one reading this, haha everyone should get bored of my slow updating speed.

Actually i dunno what I should say. Or maybe i m afraid of saying, caz I m the one who choose to give up. But i just feel like blogging. Until now, no truth and complete story was told, no one knows the whole picture. This is bcaz i dunno how I should say, I dunno what i should say, as this is all my fault. Everything seems to be bottling up in myself, but i know that i have no rights to feel that there are things in my heart that i dare not say.

Should i say that i deserve it, maybe i should. As what constance says, I should learn to get use to it, i choose it this way. I was the one who started everything, and now i m the one calling a stop. I should just feel that there are nth wrong and that i dun feel a thing. That should be better for the two of us, bcaz i m just a girl who regret every single thing that i do.

I have no rights to feel a thing, I should stay as what i m now, feel nothing, dun let anyone worried.

song...

2008-07-11T00:06:00.002+08:00

I m sad, I m affected. But i have no rights to say anything!

NICE SONG! It sings my heart!

Looks like its the end

2008-06-01T22:46:00.002+08:00

Things are changing, feeling changed too. Maybe we have come to the end of one of the changes and have to live on to the next one. There is a reason for everything, hence there is a reason to have a gender difference, if all the guys want their girlfriend to be as strong in feelings as them, to be able to control their feeling as much as them and to not like to be pampered as how they dislike to pamper us, then whats the point of having this differences in gender.

I hate this attitude, I hate this type of treatment, and I hate to do what a guy should do to a girl to YOU! If u like it so much then forget about everything that had happen before.

I would be sad, I would regret, But this will be the better of for everyone!

can it just stop

2008-05-12T16:24:00.002+08:00

Everytime when i thought that everything is so wonderful, everything is so peaceful and no quarrel. Then some stupid stuffs ought to happen to break the peacefulness.

U were at home, sleeping. I m studying. Logically speaking, It should be u trying to suit my time and NOT me waiting for u. Not as if i didnt inform u and remind u earlier. I m not slacking, cant consistently msg u and remind u right! I m very very tired of this already, not gonna say break, I will just stop bothering...

My hope is always crashed eventually!!!!

History repeating

2008-04-04T15:59:00.002+08:00

Is it true that for all young couples, will only enjoy being with each other when it is at the high peak, however when reaching the low peak, breaking up will be the only solution? I always tried to not believe that, I tried to help during the down fall always. Maybe i m helping too much, maybe i m caring too much, maybe i think too much for a simple issue which does not even concern me. Maybe i shouldnt even call ur friend, but i dun have a choice, I panicked like fuck! but u r relaxing like there isnt anything happening. I dunno whether i should say that i m bothering too much into ur life and expecting too much from u.

I will stop it when everything is done. There is no point continuing something that cant get its way out during an obstacle. It should be time u learnt to be independent

THE END

2008-03-19T23:23:00.002+08:00

firstly, there is no more pictures, no more thoughts, no more concern, no more purpose. No one understand anyone. Honestly, I dunno what the hell r u thinking about! Not as if i m not interested to ask, i asked but u refused to tell... so whats more can i ask for

delication of this song...

2008-03-17T15:49:00.002+08:00

Listen to the lyrics... This song tells it all, but i dun think he will understand, however, I hope he will...

torturing weekend...

2007-11-30T23:27:00.000+08:00

This weekend will be a bad one...I will be so lonely at home...studying and crap!

Parents when overseas, brother too... Jeremy having camp! I will be alone! oh no...cant believe it!

what the ....

2007-11-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

U alrdy noe that it will be a lonely weekend for me, we have planned that u might come to my house during the weekend. and now u noe that u have to go for some stupid bonding event and u dun even bother to talk about our plan as before just wan me to understand it myself! What is this man!

If u dun bother, i wun bother too... lonely then lonely, at most i wun find help from u when i need. Anyway u wun be able to help too...

I regretted this decision.

Personality

2007-11-06T16:52:00.000+08:00

Why are there selfish, unhelpful or unthoughtful ppl out there...And these ppl are still getting "lots" of help from the other stupid ppl who thinks they care about them... Arent they supposed to be looking in the same direction? Why arent they helping the stupids...?

I reacted almost immediately, however, it is still not mine...

We did our part, they didnt... Should we continue?

not the same anymore

2007-10-23T17:10:00.000+08:00

Everything is not the same anymore. The only thing that is kept constant is the lousy love relationship i always ended up in.

U joke ALL THE TIME, but i dun find it funny at all....I get angry sometimes or maybe most of the time, but u just kept doing it. You dun stop because i cant take these thing, as what u said were jokes. You continued and wan me to change to the type of person who can take UR JOKES. Maybe I was able to take it in the past, but it is now always not AT THE RIGHT TIME! and u expect me to laugh or smile....

I need attention! I m not ur friends! You paid more attention and time for them, what about me? It is not nice anymore!

I m getting too used to u and u r too, this will not do, we will get nowhere... Maybe a little distance away will make a little differences, or it might help us to look at things other ways. I will get sad, so might u.

I cant possibly locked myself up everyday, and act a strong front everytime i m out! I hate it!

Fading happens all the time!!!

2007-10-22T23:11:00.000+08:00

No more attention. This shows that everything fades eventually...this is my nick for now.

I should make preparation for the worst to come...why must is it always like this, I just dun understand life. What should i do to distract myself??

p.s. I m not sensitive, this is long-term observations, maybe it is just u didnt realise.

My dad's pack

2007-10-21T19:53:00.000+08:00

What an arrangement. What a threat!

I woke up at 8.30am this morning! It is a Sunday morning and i have to wake up at such an early time. Have anyone heard about me waking up at such a time in the morning to have breakfast during a weekend? NO!

I was forced! By who? My dad! he threaten me to go marketing with my mom, otherwise i will not have my laptop at nights! What a nice try! hiaz, though i still went...it was alright but i m going to sleep early tonight, damn early!

My bad habit!!!

2007-10-18T17:51:00.000+08:00

I think i said something real bad today. This all happened because of my bad habit!! I m a person who dun "give face" when i speak, especially to ppl i dunno or ppl i dun like. Today, I said that i dun like someone, when someone just stopped us on the way and ask whether we r interested to go for an event held. We didnt wanna go, but i was the only one who said, "we dun like her", oh man, i dun mean any harm, no offence, but these words just came out of my mouth. I felt that I was bad, in fact damn bad, for saying that... So i m here to apologise. though she dunno me...

I, indeed, have to change big time man. but i hate it to lie to someone in order to make that someone feels happier. But this is not the habit that i can leave unchanged, this will not help when i step out into the society.

Anyway, FRIENDS...Please try to help me change!!!...hahaha i feel totally remorseful!

sad

2007-10-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

我眼里有家人而忽略了他，而家人眼里只有他，可是他眼里根本没有家人！！！

（他是指两个不同的人）

Why is everything so messed up!! THIS IS RETRIBUTION! Sometimes I just cant be so selfish to let others get into this messed up and fucked up relationship! Sometimes I should just let go! I m sorry to have make things so complicated but this is my weak point, no one can stand it, maybe one day u will be doing just the same thing to me again!

But who can i tell???

feel like fuck!

2007-10-09T22:25:00.000+08:00

DUN HAVE TO SAY ANYMORE!!!! I hate it the moment when i dunno whether u are saying the truth or lie! U have been out the whole day! not giving me one call after telling me that u are waiting for the report! the first call u gave me after that is telling me that u r going to your friend's house not even caring whether i have finish doing my stuffs! Is that what u called waiting for my call!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck up! Dun have to give me anymore explaination! EVERYTHING SEEMS LIKE A LIE!

For now! I feel like i m staying in HELL!

The reason why....

2007-10-03T23:25:00.000+08:00

Do anyone know the reason why i dun blog everyday or every week or most accurately, frequently? Thats because there isnt anything special happening that day or that period of time, I m just doing my everyday things and routine, thats why i think there isnt any point of blogging to let people noe and read my routine. In other words, I dun wanna make my blog so boring.

But there is just this one guy (after i blog this entry, he should noe who is he himself, I just feel like telling u) who likes to blog his everyday life. even it is a routine, he likes to write it down to let ppl see HOW BORING HE IS and HOW VERY FEW FRIENDS HE HAVE!!! and why does he has such little friends is because of his mouth. If anyone knows who i m talking about, you should noe about the recent incident, because of his intelligent thinking, he did a stupid thing (though i m not gonna elaborate).

Ok thats enough about his past, but he got on my nerve just a few weeks or months back.... (you didnt realise right?..thats because you are too used to offending ppl). I m not blogging this to let u know that i hate u, I m just doing this to let u know about ur blog. His blog is full of: "waking up late in the afternoon, doing the same thing in during the evening, then eat, then go somewhere with his usual, unchanged, irritating friends(they were said to be by others) and then go home late and wake up in the afternoon again the next day. ISNT IT BORING!!!. I have stop reading sometime ago, ya so just wanna tell u how insensitive you are as a guy!!!

slacking holidays

2007-09-27T01:38:00.000+08:00

Reading books, learning to cook, playing childish games, watching tv, dancing, eating and sleeping is all i m doing during most of this holiday... I m becoming lazy. There are times when my parents forced me to go out...what a miracle...

Nth surprising or special happened... but tml i m planning to cook for my guinea pig, Jeremy... he should be honour to try and have the first bite...haha anyway. thats about all. good night

sickening results

2007-09-19T01:15:00.000+08:00

Sickening results!!! not even maintaining... feel like i m wasting my time studying in NYP, dun even think i have a chance to get into any U. Maybe some not recognised ones might. Before exams study like shit, results come out like shit too.... Cant i just improve the next round!!!! and at least get some A's

Home is not a place of peace now.

2007-09-06T22:19:00.000+08:00

Home is not a place of peace anymore. At any moment, someone might just come home with a black face and start venting anger around. Why cant things just be settled nicely. Why cant u just speak nicely to mom and dad.... When we talked nicely to u, u try to take advantage of us, when we dun talk nicely to u, then u say we r always checking on u, kicking u out of the house, out of the family.

I noe, u hate us! U love her family more. I dunno why...Jus because they joke alot, just because they like u alot. OH PLEASE. U r not their son, eventually they will get tired and cant be bothered with u. It is always fun at the beginning.

I hate u for destroying my peace and harmony! Cant u just do some moderation and make ur family a little happier, instead of cheering our girlfriend so much. We have tried all ways to make u feel home, it is u who doesnt wan to stay. We had done our best, tried all ways. but getting no appreciation.

U DESTROY YOUR HOME! YOUR FAMILY! U UGLY GUY!

Hate fighting! Hate quarrels! I hate noise!

why? not this age

2007-08-02T00:29:00.000+08:00

Why do u all like to overwhelm me with such stuffs at this age? i should be having a nice teenage life now, just becaz of him and the mis-communication between urself, I have to be like a middleman, trying to think of how to overcome this problem, that problem... so on...this isnt my task u noe... I noe i m being selfish to say that to u all....but i have alrdy done what i m suppose to do as a sister, set an example...but he isnt following... So what if i m rich... I dun have what i wan...

Exams are coming...I m stress...Can god please stop all this nonsense!!!! Where is my angel....???

HACCP....

2007-07-31T23:23:00.000+08:00

Bye HACCP!!! I have got nth to do with pasteurized milk, or the process of producing it anymore! hahaha...2 tough weeks of HACCP, just have to say that we slack for the first 2 weeks i think, and when coming to last week 2 weeks, then we realise that there are so much things to do... but it is still fun..."Especially" when i m doing the master sheet....Btw that was the reason why my eyes feels uncomfortable with my contact lens nowadays, nth to do with unique face, who bothers to look at him....

Anyway, it feels like the time to rest after a tough project, but there seems to be more things to do than to slack...reports not done, E-case not done, next mon's celltec test...So many things to do...final sem test coming!!! oh gosh...i thought i promise myself to study earlier...there is really no time!

Ak said that next sem is the sem when most ppl feels like standing at the edge of a tall building. Should get what i mean...but i m feeling it now...so what about next sem...i think edging the building is nth by then....hahahaha...

2007-07-24T16:38:00.000+08:00

I have enough things to do, have no time for nonsense. Who cares about the consequences that i have to face, if i am not in the mood, i cant be bothered!!! Same to the rest....

No rooms for ungentleman guys within the group of us, girls...Stop trying to do some stuffs to show that i m unreasonable and you are superior, in most people's eyes, a guy like u are jus some 没风度的男人, you are just some "CMI" desperate, a laughing stock!! Yes u are that bad!!!

Longest family dispute

2007-07-23T23:29:00.000+08:00

You only noe how to complain that they do not give u what u want, then what about u, anything bad happen to u and her, somehow or rather u gave me an impression that u think it is our fault, just like how u scolded mom that day. Always have fun outside and when we just want u to come home earlier, u will give us ALL that face! we dun owe u ok. If u think smoking, giving attitude when things just dun go ur way and having a thought that everyone at home does not agrees with u, is so cool, then we will see, who are the ones who cares? mind u, u have hurt everyone!! there is a limit to everything!

U have changed ALOT! and only those friends of yours think that it is a good change, none of the others like it AT ALL!!! U stressed everyone at home! We cant have a good and peaceful time jus because of u!

Dun wish anything likedat drag any longer!

Have fun but a painful fun!!!

2007-04-29T20:58:00.000+08:00

Had a great BBQ yesterday. It was fun, was hoping that it will not rain and it did as what i hoped! I was thinking it was a good sign. However, when i was starting to clear some rubbish, bending down to take it up, my back start to hurt! It feels like my bone cracked and touched my nerve and muscles. Cant move my left leg at all. Luckily, "you" were there to help me! Last night was tortures too! Cant lie flat on bed.

Hate this back problem, it is all because of cheerleading! So dun join cheerleading if ur bone is not strong!

Lastly, dun laugh at me if u see that i m not walking properly. Left leg seems to be a little retarded lol.... but i m not!

Mind your own business

2007-04-25T21:12:00.000+08:00

Hey, if u dun wan me to matter u, please keep your mouth shut about my stuffs. So what if u know more about my outside commitment, it is still my own business, dun be a kpo and think u know everything!!! And please acting pity is not the way!!! No one gives a damn except for ppl who need guys jus like u!

Bias sucks!

2007-04-18T22:24:00.000+08:00

It is getting so obvious. Do both of u even know that i felt it? rmb everything that he tells u and not mine. It is suppose to be mine but i have to let him have it jus bcaz u forgotten, and "she" can say that "he" asked for it yesterday, what about me? I said it week ago and u didnt do anything, he jus asked u ytd!! and you done it immediately!!!!

Everytime when he comes home, u seems to be so nice and happy. smile to him and everything! Is he a treasure? What about me? I m waiting for u all to come home, called u when u r late. what about him? He is out till so late and not back before u, is this suppose to be happy about? I have everything! But I dun feel happy still, it is jus the someone that snatch the most important thing!!! So what if he is getting rebellious, do both of u have to suit whatever he wants. WHO AM I!!!!! I can get rebellious too.

A new start!

2007-04-18T15:07:00.000+08:00

My blog is dead for so long, time to save it. Dunno why i suddenly feel like blogging again. hope ppl still know that my blog exists.

School starts, timetable still not bad. Have a day free, which is today.

What should i say, hmmm. Went jogging today, but only jog for 2 rounds when it started raining, what an excuse to stop hahaha. No more stamina, feel so heavy, I should really start to exercise. But i just love eating, especially meat!!! I miss Whitley's curry mee!!! hahaha.

What a post!

Irresponsible

2007-01-25T13:57:00.000+08:00

I hate to say this, i hate this post!!! but i m jus gonna write it down for the sake of myself. it is up to u to listen and agree.

U asked me why m i so angry about such a thing only. i m telling u now! By doing this, it shows that u arent responsible for what u do now or maybe in future! Everytime when i m angry, i will think what if this happens in the future, and the answer is always, "i have to suffer to accommodate to ur wonderful character". Quiting job to find new one? Its ok, provided u can find any. But this is not the way to quit a job. At least u have to let the ppl noe first right. what if u were them and one of ur worker didnt turn up for work without any reason or even to inform u, then how, they cant possibly find a replaced jus for that day and jus for u right. u urself noe the work load, no one there to replenish stocks mean no stock!

if this is not irresponsible then i dunno what is this! Remember, dun have to say sorry when u finally noe that u were wrong. sorry is nth to me now.

I enjoyed being with u. But the thought of continuing it for a bright future is nowhere to be seen. i cant feel that i can rely on u for a bright future

Did u had fun???

2007-01-20T18:10:00.000+08:00

Wonder did u really enjoy everything we have planned for u? i hope so. Thanks to vincent, zuo xiang, gaspar and the others who came last night. I will help jeremy to thank u again!!! he said it was his best birthday ever! =)

I ate so much that i think i will vomit if i continue. lol... but the cake distracted me from suffering. That cake was "power". hahaha cant think of any nicer words to describe it.

Oh by the way, like the presents?

Exams are coming!!! Study hard everyone!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEREMY

2007-01-19T18:05:00.000+08:00

It is jeremy chan's birthday....planning lots of surprises for u!!!! hope u will like it.. love you!!!

no future

2006-11-15T20:19:00.000+08:00

With this kind of results, i will definitely go no where. dunno how m i gonna survive like this in future. i cant be a lab assistant for sure.

We will have no future!!! If this continues Its for sure...Hate to think of that, it seems like i m Materialistic. but i m not. i m not thinking of short-term, but it is the future. But mayb it is too early...

I m not looking down, i m sad that i wouldn't help even myself to do well.

I m scared!!!!!!!

2006-11-07T20:46:00.000+08:00

Scary...Suddenly i felt like there are so many threats out there waiting to kill me and take him. Threatening feeling seems to have overwhelmed me. Am i being too sensitive? Though i dunno her, she seems so close, it seems that many of my friends know her too. Maybe there will be one day when i really have to let go. But it won't be now!

She viewed me on friendster, wanting to noe "who the hell is she" but she didnt have the guts, she used another account. But too bad, i noe its her!

Does sensitivity shoo ppl away from me?..............

Feeling new

2006-11-05T01:22:00.000+08:00

But i got a new phone a few days back!!! finally. isn't a good phone but better than the previous one. Hmmmm... BBQ make me sick now... muz think so new ways to enjoy eating instead of BBQ.

Days have been passing so fast! It is the 3rd week already. and my exams are on the 9th week!!! so fast! time flies man... I m scared!!!!

Dancing again, 23 more days. excited!!!!

Being drunk feels lilke shit! I m worried!!!

20 more days and i will be all alone! AT HOME!

yeah!!!

2006-10-31T21:27:00.000+08:00

Yeah... my mom finally allows me to perm my hair!!!! Gonna get a nice perm soon!!! excited....

Dance exams are round the corner. intensive training from now on. Taking it as a chance to get slimmer. having so many events and outings nowadays make me fat! All i can see is food, food and more food...lol. good luck to myself. last grade!!!

24 more days and i will be all alone at home. Mom, Dad and my brother going overseas for 10 days without me!!! I m so sad... 10 days man!!!

CALISTER AND MILAN!!!!

2006-10-19T21:31:00.000+08:00

School start a few days ago. Seeing the normal classmate once again, new jokes were told by the usual ones, desmond with his evil laughter, thoughts and mouth!!!

The new jokes!!!!

Calister first:
Having the funniest words and phrases coming out from her mouth has been always her normal self.

Few days ago, when all of us were crapping about having a BBQ during the next term break when it is just the second day of school, she "pop" up with a joke. "Hey, we must buy candy floss ok? It is damn nice after BBQing it!!!" All of us were like ????, have we ever BBQ candy floss before? Concluded that she actually wanted to say, mashmallows hahahaha!!!!

Just today, she crapped a joke for herself again. seeing this person wearing an ugly racer back(whatever the spelling is), she told us confidently that this top is called "muscle back" hahahaha!!!!

Milan, its ur turn..
As all of us in SCL knows that we have to wear a lap coat when we carry out our practical in the lab. and on the timetable it is listed as "prac lesson". So this term we have IT module. there is of coz IT prac, but it is in the com lab not the sci lab. milan planned to wear a lap coat to carry out IT prac. Imagine, wearing a lap coat sitting in front of the com. hahaha...cool!!!!

=P

Last night

2006-10-07T14:26:00.000+08:00

Had a BBQ last night with a group of friends who doesn't noe each other. It was fun though they didnt met before. It was a last minute plan BBQ, as me and ding got no where to go to celebrate and play with lanterns. At first it was pathetic, but it became fun after the fire start to light(with the help of my dad).

But i knew some were not having fun. but its alright, since u made an effort to come down i appreciate it more than ever.

U r the first guy who will accompany me through stupid, crazy and "bo liao" stuffs that i do. U wun whine and say it is pathetic or stupid. I m so happy that i did not let u go. And i have to thank you for not giving me up too. 6 months plus, it still seems to be like a honeymoon. Love Love

Yeah! Second last day of work! not gonna be an auntie soon... gonna have money, have fun, have time and life!!! enjoy the last week!!!

Nv blog for so long and i lost the feeling of blogging alrdy. dunno what to write, how to phrase it and everything, bear with me for a while. =)

no time

2006-08-15T18:03:00.000+08:00

study study study....i will go crazy!!! but too bad my class ppl r smart, so i have to work doubly hard. hiaz...

Into rugby nowadays, caz of u!!! U sing funny, always make me laugh listening to ur singing. hahaha especially chinese songs. asshole...love love

Sean! i wanna go outing. hahaha sound so childish. Ben owe me a meal!

Wen Yi, i blogged! happy? hahaha

What a friend.

2006-07-25T22:41:00.000+08:00

Oh what kind of friend do u regard us, treating us like some fools and u expect us to share with u. We have seen ur true colours, whether anot it is true, u did a wrong thing today "two headed snake". trying to be nice to everyone will onli make everyone leave u eventually. Mark my words man. U r not as nice as what i think u are and it disgusts me!

Haha, practice rolling ur eyes more. It sucks seriously. U know who can do it better. Stop acting like some nice angel in front of guys. Ur acting makes me feeling like vomiting.

cant help but to hate u all

2006-07-20T22:43:00.000+08:00

I m gonna hate "blackheads" so much man! he pissed me off. to think that i tried to be nice and tried so hard to stop gossipping about u. CAN U LEARN UR MANNER PLEASE! stop ur disgusting way of trying to listen to what others r talking about! all of u! not onli "blackheads"! SO RUDE!!!!

i m really not feeling right nowadays! weak stomach, coughing every now and then, losing voice, feeling tired! what else?? I am really not feeling right in and out!!!!!

New blog..

2006-07-19T22:18:00.000+08:00

Yeah...new blogskin! There might be lots of ppl using this blogskin but i cant be bothered. I jus wanna have a change.

i wanna stop all our wrong doings!. i m scared! really! feeling weird! cant take it!

One day of holiday.

2006-07-17T21:46:00.000+08:00

yeah, its my holiday today, i dunno what event it is today(e learning day for all yr 1...wth???) lol... Cant be bothered. Had fun today! Hole Bought me a new heels, though its not the one that i m aiming for, but i still like it alot. Went to catch "pirates of the carribean" with my classmates and hole today. nice movie. exciting, someone's heart beat damn fast man. hahaha...

Blackheads is gonna attack desmond tml! hahaha...

I m sorry!

2006-07-13T21:39:00.000+08:00

So sorry hole, it was so wrong of me to do that. I hope it is better to be honest to you then to betray u behind ur back, so i told u. luckily u forgave me... To think that i m so not trustable... sad..hiaz anyway, thanks!

Results r back...Sad!!!

2006-07-10T20:56:00.000+08:00

Got back my results just today!!! It totally sucks!!! There is a D, can u believe it. Didn't expect it to be like this. I dun understand what has went wrong, it is not as if i didnt study right. Why did this happen even in poly. I hate it! Can't go Singapore U already. Though it is onli a small percentage compared to the finals but it's not as if i didnt study right...hiaz...Even HE can get better results than me! WTH!

Retribution!

I wanna learn how to control my temper!!! I dun wan to have that stupid attitude towards ppl that i doesn't fancy. I muz learn to accept it or mayb control. yes!!!

I m still very sad... out!

Dance time... Looking forward to performance! AND CHEN LAO SHI IS COMING BACK!!!! I MISS HER!!!

I wan extra holidays to study..

2006-06-21T10:55:00.000+08:00

I have yet to finish studying for the test next week... how??? scary!!!

Have a long talk with ding last night. Got to know lots of her secrets hahaha... wanna know? come bride me la. lol. Damn funny la. Joke man!!!

I love surprises!!! heee... Jus ramdom la. BYE!

I m back!

2006-06-19T16:58:00.000+08:00

Sorry peeps, have no time to update my blog that often like before. exams coming, have to study. This might be a short one too.

Jus came back from malaysia with my family. have lots of fun there. i hate the journey there though, the route is a disaster!!! keep turning and cornering. i will nv ever be able to overcome my carsick illness. sad... cant sleep well the first night, but i can still be high the next morning! Walked the second longest canopy in the world, Went to the tahan river, thought of tanning myself there, but my tan doesn't seems to change... so i m as white as ever! thats about all. I killed all my brain cells while studying. So i can think of nothing now. gonna do some replications...hahaha cant get over DNA.

hmmmm... i hope there can be a meet out with all my love ones and friends. hehe...

Chan Fang Kai! u better study hard!!!!

WTC success!!!

2006-06-04T14:26:00.000+08:00

wow...WTC was fun and stress. everyone seems so close and help one another up...the feeling was damn good la. i love it. hahaha. shelly and guava. "where is that place?", answer by Alvin, "guava!" hahaha.. Guava and Vancent, I will miss u alll... and allgi, homo!!!

the camp is better than what we have thought, it is successful enough. no one will understand how much problems we have faced, so thanks to all head ICs, u all have made the boys smile, learn and the other staffs experiences. i will look forward for a next one, if we ever have any chance.

Throughout the camp, the staff onli slept for one hour!!!!! omg!!! but we had fun, didn't we? yea...i love all rovers!!!

I will still laugh when i heard someone saying that they r too "touched". lol. WTC rocks!

Memories that will never come back again...

2006-05-23T22:39:00.000+08:00

Saw my son, James, Cherlyn and Kemp... suddenly i miss them all so much! and YJ school compound. it will nv be mine again... my son is still as adorable and charming as ever. i love my son!!! hahaha... james has changed a little, becoming more like a man, not as boy as last time. hmmmm.. Kemp, same old same, cool and cold to strangers... wow Cherlyn shake damn good la. When can YJ chinese dance improved? hiaz.....

my stupid prisoner, as cute as ever... love ur eyes, ur smile and everything.... i hope he can admire us forever!!! heheeee...

happy, stress, everything....

2006-05-18T21:01:00.000+08:00

yea!!! my laptop is coming on sat! so happy, and u noe what, i found a com mouse, spouser is it, not sure, it is onli like 2 fingers big. omg! so cute! hahaha

So it is my time to whine....everyday, every week we r like doing same things in school...reports report report, sometimes, research, research...there is nth else i can do. maths lecturer is horrible!!! the worst one i ever had in my whole life! Inorganic chem is oso getting worst, hope the next lecturer will be a better one. Have been getting along well with my classmates too, beginning to get use to them and becoming lame too..."cat, pig, turtle, dog, wolf" lol...jia hui is the naggiest! hahaha, i m joking!

I have a tutor!!! Foo Fang Hui! hahaha....hope i can improve my power of understanding! i m so slow in learning....

thanks for being so understanding, and accepting all my craziness and unreasonable words. hmmm..." u r mon petit ami"...thats all...dun say so much, later u fly up into the sky...hahaha

busy!

2006-05-09T20:06:00.000+08:00

Time isn't enough for me to blog though i use the com everyday. A com has become my studying material instead of leisure entertainment. Sometimes a com reminds me of lab report!!!! But i think i m beginning to like typing lab reports. It might be one of my pastime in future. lol.. I had my first test in NYP today.It wasn't that hard, but i wun put my hopes too high. everyone in my course seems so smart, they are the ones who can go into a good JC but refuses. think about it, 7 pointers... thinking about it make me so stress!!! thanks to my "maths tutor", milan, my helpful lab partner and some others.

i m afraid to neglect either sides. I hope u can understand. It is still as much!!! Paranoid is me!!! hahahaha....

Pest in class, bouge de la!!!!

long long time ago

2006-05-01T20:40:00.000+08:00

It has been quite a long time since i last blogged. hmmm got no time. projects r piling up...6 projects altogether man. hiaz so stress... muz plan my time probably, cannot play so much! Buying a new laptop. dunno which brand to buy at this moment, let my dad handle it. i hope i can have wireless connection at home too, so i can use my laptop in my room, unlike now, got a redundant laptop.

school is alright, nth much for me to look forward to. mayb my class circuit connections (three crazy girls) without them, the class is dead, boring and childish. Dunno how to get along with the rest. Muz write report every week, at least 2 per week. so stress!!!!

Went badminton today with Jia, bern and beng. it is fun hahaha. Beng look very funny when playing. Beng, why cant i laugh?? hahaha... *I muz exercise once per week!!!*

Darlings i miss u all!!!! Fang kai starting school!!!

first french lesson

2006-04-18T22:02:00.000+08:00

haha, today i had my first french lesson. it was fun and the teacher is "cute" according to some of my friends which i dun think so. anyway my physical chemistry teacher is cute hahaha. booooo stop thinking. yea, my class is funny. Had lots of fun.

Mircobiology suck! it is so hard and the teacher jus rush through the whole lecture like a sky-train! dun like her... wish i can get a pass for this module. I might be going overseas U anyway.

Je' t'aime!!!!!!!!!

French!!!

2006-04-13T18:21:00.000+08:00

yeah!!!!.........i can take french!!!! Cant believe that i will be able to speak french in future. hahaha. Shelly, r u jealous? When i noe how to say "I love you" in french then i teach u ok? dun worry i will be a good teacher! hahaha. i m so happy.. The notes i need cost $20 altogether. hear that it is quite heavy. wonder how thick it is. i m quite eager to start learning new stuffs hahaha....

hmmm... they r leaving tonight to offroad, it is a torture that i cant go this time. but there will always be a next time. And yea, jus finish a whole series of hongkong drama, nice! starting a korean one now. dunno whether i could finish it in time, doubt so as school is starting.

first day of the new start...

2006-04-10T20:09:00.000+08:00

today is my orientation day 1. it is such a boring orientation compared to the others that i attended in the past. so boring that i can sleep on the track in NYP, can u believe it, when the OGL was talking and i was sleeping. everyone is complaining, but overall my class is still a pleasant one, at least there is no super "ah lian" or super "mina". played with water bombs and the treasure hunt which is a game to let us "know the school compound better" but ended up, we were jus running after the Ogls who were leading, in other words, we only run and run the whole day and didnt get to know our directions at all, useless game! hiaz. hope the lessons hurry start.

my body hurts!!!!!! one day of kayaking course is a torture if u dun exercise regularly. Oh btw, i fall on my butt wearing a cheap booties hahaha, bought by shelly. and my dear dear friends jus standing there and laugh at me. And it is a bit blue black there. how nice r they man! anyway i had a fun day and the funniest event. seeing ding drowning!!!! hahaha... this coming sun's kayaking will be as fun i hope!!

=)

2006-04-03T20:49:00.000+08:00

I m happy!! And wanna stay like that always, forever!

what happen?

2006-03-27T21:39:00.000+08:00

i really know nuts about what is happening around me. what the fuck, things leaked out without me even knowing. i hate it! What kind of shit did u mention to him and he mention to her? i believe that i didnt say that they went out! definitely not. and now it is all wrong. she hates me, i know it. He hates me even more. hey man, even though i told some of u all, it doesn't mean he have to noe right! whats in ur mind to tell him such a thing. i jus wanna vent my anger cant u sense it?? i have been reminding u not to say A THING!!!! and u promised and now u said it!!!! i regretted!!! i hate it!!!

i noe i have no rights to be angry. In the first place i shouldn't have told u all this. and now things got so wrong. i dunno how m i gonna solve it. Do u noe bcaz of that, she is not gonna trust me. It's all my fault. and i think venting anger is not wrong!!!!!!!!!!

ROC was fun

2006-03-27T14:14:00.000+08:00

The ROC camp was a successful one. The endurance test was tough but fun. it is scary though, seeing choon ann, yiting and vincent getting so angry. but as what i have said it is aan edurance test, it muz be scary!! the funny part is, vincent thought i cried...hahaha but i m touched. lol. the thought of having a confident walk makes me freak out, but in actual fact it is not that scary after all. hahaha. Confident fall too, it is all a test for ur guts. i m so happy that i didnt missed this camp. got to know so many friends and had a wonderful time during the campfire. hahaha. shelly is a good actor!!! jonathan too. yea thats about all for the camp. have to plan for WTC soon. hope it will be successful too.

nv regret, enjoy it!!!

2006-03-21T14:30:00.000+08:00

WOW!! This trip into the forest was fun and exciting! How i wish i could enjoy it once again with the same company. I m gonna miss it so much!! The sad thing is i didnt get to noe those new friends more, neither r we contacting anymore. Hope there will be a next time where everyone can gather together and have fun again. Might be looking for ur contacts online.

Lousy day today. went to collect my specs and the optician spoil my specs!!! i m so looking forward to take my specs and he spoil it in front of me...How dare him!!! so went home in that stupid old specs again. have to collect it another day.

Rover's orientation camp is round the corner, is it gonna be fun? or tough? hope it will be both. Love challenges but hate to be conquered. ROC will be on this weekends, which means i will miss another dance lesson... my muscles r not flexible anymore!!!!!!

wanna be happy

2006-03-16T14:27:00.000+08:00

Army daze is a nice play. James too bad, u cant make it. =( Thanks son for not allowing me to be left out, u r soooooo kind and caring, i love u so much.... =) lol so many ppl thought we are together. thats funny!!!!

Felt so stupid and out yesterday though. it is not i didnt wanna talk, it's that even if i talk, i will get a "dun give a damn"'s attitude, so what for i try.... I m sorry to make boundaries, but i m not use to initiation. Though i will try my very best to cut off all boundaries to stay close to all of u. I cant bear to lose so many friends. James and Hui, i wish i were like last time, i wish i could forget as easy as before. and why is it him that i couldn't hiaz.....

Poly orientation is on the 10th to 12th. school start on the 17th. hope i can noe more friends, and find ppl with the craziness of my darlings!!!! i dun wan to be outcasted and i dun wanna be labelled as flirt!!!! Darlings i will miss u all....

I will not be at home for 2 weekends consecutively. so sad... going overseas this weekend, ROC next. but it is fun!!!! gonna get a tan!!!!

i m made up my mind......

2006-03-12T19:36:00.000+08:00

"Things that belongs to u are yours, things that dun belongs to u will nv be yours." son remember reading this somewhere in YJ. U should remember, we read it together.... Everything should go as it is and not be forced. Since things r getting from bad to worst, and sooner or later i it will be unbearable for me, i shall jus forget about everything, all the hurt and torture. It is not the end of the world either. Friends r still more important than anything.

My gosh. i m damn packed for the the whole of next week, and i m feeling very happy about that. At least i dun have excessive time to stay at home and rot, and TVB shows r definitely not for me. Btw i bought "innocent steps" vcd already. geeeee.... i will be watching it again and again, until i stop tearing hahaha...

An overnight chilling rocks!!! Shelly and her stupid "emo" and the unforgettable dance, make me wanna laugh!!! but ding and sling slept, so lynn, dine and I slept after watching "innocent steps". Quite tired actually, after a day of jobweek.

Oh ya the "jobweek was fun!!!! Sling, Derek and I were in a group, we went unit to unit asking for housework to do and donations. At least my group is better than shelly's, they didnt even do a single job (Shelly was upset!!!...hahaha). We mop the floor and wipe the windows, this is the first time i m doing all this. and thanks to derek, everytime when we r given a housework to do, he will ask me,"Do u know how to do???", dun look down on me!!!! hahaha

rot, jealous, envy, missing....

2006-03-08T16:42:00.000+08:00

I m rotting at home! how can i spend my time wisely?? i m not used to staying at home so often. watching korean movie is the only thing that i can do. but there is currently no more to watch at home.

I m jealous of everyone who have a school to go to. No one can understand how i feel, no one can be out with me as much. Whole clique of friends in YJ went back to YJ, EXCEPT me!!!! 3 out of 5 of my darlings went to JC. The other 2 have more than enough entertainment, and they r used to staying at home, EXCEPT me!!!

I miss everyone. had a nice chat with my son, was very happy yesterday!!! Hope u feel the same...hahaha... we have a different chemistry!!!! muhahaha.... Dun anyhow call people "mother or mummy"

free..so free!!!

2006-03-04T21:02:00.000+08:00

i m gonna rot for the next few weeks. getting into korean movies!!! hahaha... enlarging my wardrobe at this point in time. hmmmm... my weekends r gone!!! but it is better than staying at home. dunno why i hate staying at home lately. gonna spend most of my time with rover's stuff. Gonna go overseas soon..

My son rocks my life!!!!

Btw shelly and sling, i think what u said today was quite true. but jus remember that u still have us somewhere in ur heart...dun abandon us. hahaha dunno why nowadays i keep using the word abandon.

end to everything, a start for something

2006-03-03T11:42:00.000+08:00

An end to school uniforms, National anthem, all the PE, Assembly and what else... I m sad!!!! suddenly i feel that the national anthem sound so nice... when can it be my next time singing it. National Day?? most probably...

Posted to NYP...

wonder why some ppl love to go to a poly instead of a JC. mayb my idea of a poly is different and hope i can adapt to the environment soon.

though so many childish stuffs find their way to me in YJ and i didnt really clear my conscience before leaving, i have a wonderful two months plus in there. nice ppl do exist. my son, my faggots, the "bossy" guy(hahaha!!!!), my OGL, those funny guys and the nice dancers are all my memories in YJ! words cant describe how hard is to leave this clique, it sounds quite retarded to be so emotional, but without u all, i would have withdrew long ago.

Though i always seems very dependent on u guys, but i dun wanna be a burden to u all. i m jus too sensitive, no hard feelings.

May life in a new school be a wonderful and peaceful one to everyone!!!!

To my darlings baby.. please do spend time with us. dun abandon us, although we all noe that there is a silent but strong bonds between all of us but it will fade if we dun polish it. yea hope u understand what i mean. love you!!!!

An end to the JC

2006-02-26T14:08:00.000+08:00

maybe it is true that JC is jus not for me. a guy asked me whether i wanna stay in JC for A level, or jus wanna be in a JC. come to think of it, it is jus the fun of being in a JC, not for A's. Poly will be better off, i can go overseas for U!!!!

Clique in JC rocks!!! there isnt a sad day in my life here. there always someone who will brighten up ur day...!!! I LOVE SENSITIVE GUYS!!!! I love my son, who identify himself as a "son-of-a-bitch"... Can't survive one day without their jokes!!!

But i still love my darlings!!! thanks for the present...i will take good care of it!!!

The sad thing is, i dunno why i cant clique with my classmates as well. they r nice ppl but we have no topic.

It is different this time.. i can live without pestering him about my feelings.. I can joke with him and not making a big fuss out of things.. I can talk and not get angry after a conversation. It is kinda happy now to have the feelings kept and not spoken anymore.

happy!!!!

2006-01-18T22:15:00.000+08:00

I love my life in JC!!! I hope i can stay and all my peers will stay too. having problems with chem, geog and most of all econ!!! The dance there rocks too, it is so much better than previous. but it is kind of rushing for performance and compeition now. so many practices!!! *tired*

for u GUY, nth can affect my life in JC, no matter how much u backstabbed me. i find that it is kind of childish, didnt noe u haven't grown up yet. caz i have friends unlike u!!! u r jus jealous face it, stop that arrogant attitude, it will get u no where!!!

yeah!!!!

2006-01-08T20:45:00.000+08:00

i m so proud that i can say that finally u r not affecting me already!!!! i m leading a whole new life. everything is so different here. i hav to face everything myself, all the lecturers and all my problems in appealling for my sub combi. hmmm its a new experience. i hope i can continue in YJ after the o's reaults is out. i wanna be an ogl myself! hahahaha. *dreaming*

My darlings: we still love each other lots. dun let the guys snatch it all away from me!

happy new year

2006-01-01T22:28:00.000+08:00

YEA it is a new new year. i must remember all my resolutions for this new start. all the best for everyone for this new year. and i m starting a new life yeah!!!!! new friends here i come!!!

i m afraid of making a decision, i m afraid it would be wrong again. i dun wanna make the same mistake again. sorry (" ) . i dunno whether is he still there.

Gals!!! even if we r going to a different sch and dine, lynn in the working society, i will still love u alllllll!!!!

sch starting

2005-12-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

Sch is starting in a few more days. i hope i could lead a new life by then.

It would be so good if love can be one sided, but once it is one sided how could it be love? love is such a pest. i hope i nv loved, so that i wun feel that something has escaped from my life and feel lonely, or mayb i wun even noe how does love feels like. But time passes and will nv come back, what is done is done, what i should do now is to make myself entertained, meaning not to have time to think about stupid stuffs.....what can i do?????

lightly

2005-12-24T13:51:00.000+08:00

i should learn to take things lightly. otherwise i will definitely become crazy and being sent to mental hospital! what should i do?????? shopping is getting on my nerve!!!! going beach alone is pathetic. where can i go to make myself feel like i m entertained??? staying at home onli make me think more!!! 3rd of jan quickly come!!!! i wan a new life!!!!!

depression.......

its the end

2005-12-18T18:58:00.000+08:00

u have already told me what i should noe. yea, It's the end. It should be time i give up, for me to let it go. i should noe what to do. i would be childish to say this, but please to spike me with ur words anymore, otherwise the it will nv be an ending to me.

back here again

2005-12-12T19:59:00.000+08:00

why do we always have to quarrel over small tiny stuffs? i really dun understand u sometimes, or is it my fault, my tone and everything. everytime i talk to u, i m always afraid that we might jus end up nowhere! Maybe our relation is no where now, neither will it get anywhere in future i bet. it is all retribution, i admit. my best friend shld be laughing. serve me right for making quick decisions. when can this kind of torture end???

u said u dun understand me, but what i protray in front of u is jus simply me. i have nth to hide from u. it had been more than 2 years, what is true and what is fake shld be obvious enough.

to all my caring friends!

2005-12-03T20:53:00.000+08:00

i miss all of u, gals. lol i dunno why i suddenly feel this way, jus wanna let u all noe. i love u too!!! i feel that i got no life using com at home all day, but since we r back from Genting, i got no mood to go out, stepping out of my hse gate is oso impossible. i hope everything will change, so that i could go out and have fun!!! i miss the beach, how about flying kite?? i hope u all could spare some time to go out together, since all of u all r working. only me, slacking at home!

a formal letter

2005-12-02T16:21:00.000+08:00

firstly, i would like to sae sorry to all my friends who read my blog. i noe the content is always very boring. but i jus couldnt end it, neither in my blog or real life. thanks for friends who were there when i needed u. he is doing what he should do from the beginning, this will makes me forget him. yeah i agree. continue it, dun ever come back and it will be the end of story.

do u like this to happen to u?

2005-11-30T15:26:00.000+08:00

will u like it when someone gave u hope, so high so high... and then he pulled u down like jumping down a cliff. i doubt u will like it. Dun worry, i wun do it to u, and pls i beg u, dun ever do it to me. i dun wan history to repeat itself. Say it if u mean it

back

2005-11-30T15:15:00.000+08:00

back from genting. i m sick, sore throat, flu. I think i shouted too much. The weather there was damn cold. It rained in both days, but jus for a while and it made the whole of Genting so cold and misty. When wind start to blow, u better find a place to hide, it will freeze u!!! hahaha. But however, we took all the rides that OUR butts can fit. The teapot was damn fun, shelly go "mabo" sitting with maurice and luthfi, me and ding were trying to turn and turn but not get giddy. hahaha charles, he stop the wheel from turning and said he wanna turn, in the end they turn and all go mabo.

In the night, we played dare or dare, hahaha, charles and kevin turned us on, maurice frightened us, tian hee is so innocent and luthfi and shelly, u two were lucky. haha. overall, Genting trip was wonderful, with the sexy and manly(kevin) guys around!

here i come!!!!

2005-11-24T18:42:00.000+08:00

GENTING here i come!!!!... i will definitely have fun there!!! caz i love everyone who r going! i m damn excited to be with u all for the next few days. imagine taking all the rides, shooting up and down, getting wet playing water games, spending all the night in the hotel playing cards, games whatever!!! my mind will be free!!!!. with the crazy maurice, hooooooo crazy time too!!!! see u all later!!

You Are

2005-11-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

Besides my family, u r the only one holding me back for making up my mind. since u dun even care, my decision is made. i m going! i hate to sae this but i was wrong about what i thought. and i think i m damn dumb for thinking that u will even bother. ya i shld noe u wouldnt bother, this isnt the first time. anyway i m gonna have fun. who cares about ppl who dun bother!

To u, the only one who dun treasure!

loneliness

2005-11-11T17:55:00.000+08:00

i hate to walk out myself! i hate to leave there on my own! it make me seems like some ****, the feeling suck! leaving that place alone seems to me like i m being loved for what i have and not what i m. but i cant do anything. bcaz it will jus ruin everything.

i can love u more than anything! but nth is appreciated. i made u feel love but u dun make me feel that way.

I m a girl who need love, attention and i hate to be alone!